STRONGER BECAUSE A Tragedy Can Also Be A Treasure
Updated: Feb 12, 2020
A man heard about the success many of his people were having finding diamonds across the continent of Africa.
He decided that he would sell his farm and seek his fortune in diamonds.
Years later, after searching high and low with no success, he threw himself into the river and drowned.
Meanwhile, the man who bought his farm was crossing the creek one day and noticed a shiny stone that caught his eye.
He was intrigued. He took it home and placed it on his mantle as a curiosity.
A few weeks later a visiting man noticed that rock and asked him where he had gotten that rock.
He replied that he had found it in the creek on his farm and had seen many others but not as big as that one.
The man informed him that he had one of the biggest diamonds ever found.
Sometimes we go looking for the life of our dreams expecting to find love, pleasure, excitement, joy, connection, peace, intimacy not realizing that we have the materials to create all of those things within the rich, fertile soil of our minds.
We learn to think that what we seek is outside of us and in order to feel it, we must find its source...as if happiness and pleasure and love come to us through something.
We also believe that there are physical things keeping us from joy and happiness and peace.
If only we had less bills then we would be less stressed.
If only we had a different job so we could feel valued.
Sometimes we are given challenges that feel like they are preventing us from achieving happiness.
We desire happiness.
Ask any mother what she would like most for her child and "that he/she can be happy" will be on the top 3.
What if you could help your child learn to be truly happy?
What if you could do it best by learning how to be happy without having to change ANYONE or ANYTHING else?
What if the very things we are constantly resisting and trying to move out of our path to happiness ARE the path to happiness?
Each struggle presents an opportunity to learn one more thing about how to create the skills that are essential to love, happiness, connection, joy, success.
What are yours?
We spend so much time and energy thinking, "What would my life be like without this" that we forget to take the time to ask, "How can I make my life better because of this?"
One of my personal experiences that I have shared is my autoimmune disease.
Before I was diagnosed I spent a great amount of time and energy proving that I was enough.
Searching for enough-ness in my races, how I looked, what I could accomplish. I wasn't aware of what I was doing. It just felt necessary and unbelievably important.
I was never aware of the thoughts of "What would I be without a personal PR?" but I became aware of the
When I was told if I didn't stop working out like I was that I would only get worse.
Worse was hard to imagine.
I was already unable to do so much of what I based my identity on.
When I mothered it was in brief episodes of getting the household managed and returning to bed, sometimes by crawling.
When I went out hiking or cycling it was slow and often resulted in tearful calls to my husband wondering what I would do if I couldn't get back home.
I was often working out alone so that no one would be slowed by me or know just how bad it was.
When I found myself stripped of things that felt vital to my identity and enough-ness, I was finally able to see that I was already enough.
It took a while and I still work constantly to improve my mindset and hone my skills, but I had never felt as free
Even when I finished overall in my triathlon
When I killed it in the Gran Fondo
When I organized trainings and turned my paperwork in on time, attended the track meet, and got the grocery shopping done and got every. single. box checked on my to-do list.
They were cheap imitations of a very real, deep sense of purpose and identity that I never would have known without my loss.
This was just one of the valuable lessons I learned from what many people call a horrible, invisible disease...but I call my greatest teacher and friend.
IT IS MY DIAMOND MINE
What is your diamond mine?
It will be disguised as a rock that gets in the cogs as you try to farm your land.
It will look like cancer.
Loss of a loved one.
And rather than spending the energy, time, and precious life on ruminating on what life would be like without it...
Resisting, grieving, fighting, arguing against reality...