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So Are You Succeeding?

Updated: Oct 10, 2019


Successful woman and defining success with autoimmune disease
Successful business woman and autoimmune diseaase

Last post was about how we define success for ourselves. Have you been thinking about how you define success in life?

Two definitions I have heard this week are, “If I am progressing, then I am succeeding” and “If I fully express myself in truth”, they consider their experiences successful. Redefining success is like realizing that the finish line you thought you were running toward was 4 miles back!

Henry Cloud defines several boundaries basics that children need to internalize for personal responsibility. As adults we are still learning these skills. The first one is “to know that my success or failure in life largely depends on me”.

There are some questions inside there.

1. How do you define success?

2. How do you define failure?

3. How do you carry that responsibility?

Someone who views success as a finish line, failure as an indication of their efforts or abilities and the responsibility as blame, will experience life in a way that comes from fear and lack. This could look like stress, depression, a fear of trying, hiding, overwhelm, unachievable, and never-ending.

Have you ever seen your autoimmune disorder in this light? This could look like, “I can’t do the things I used to do. I used to compete, make dinners, attend my kids’ events, work full-time and now I can barely get out of bed. I just can’t get my body to do it, I’m in so much pain and so tired I can hardly think.”

There is nothing wrong with seeing things this way. This is the language of grief and deserves some respect and some attention. At some point of personal responsibility, we could ask how this thinking is serving us. The way we think is literally the difference between seeing ourselves as successful, fulfilled, enlightened, blessed, and absolute and utter failures. The way we think also literally affects our biology such as our gut biome; a heavy hitter with autoimmunity, right?

This may seem like a daunting task, changing how you feel by changing how you think. How do you do it? Ask yourself how you WANT to feel about your situation. Then practice thinking thoughts about success, failure, and responsibility that turn from fear and blame and toward love and opportunity.

This is where you take your hands off the rollercoaster handles and put them up in the air knowing there is something HUGE ahead. I think it’s going to be amazing and you’re up to it.

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