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  • Writer's pictureJenn

How to Handle Rejection Like a Cool, Calm Champ

Have you ever tried to connect with a spouse or a child

And been denied? Rejected? Turned down?


WHAT DO YOU DO?


Often times we feel hurt and withdraw

Or become angry and fired up.

Or sometimes...try to stop caring.


But strangely enough, these approaches usually create

...You guessed it...

More disconnection.


The opposite of the original goal.

The one we deeply wanted first.


How can you handle it in a way that increases connection

AND

Keeps your heart safe??


Here are some steps to guide you through navigating rejection with grace and resilience:


Step 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings


When faced with rejection, it's essential to acknowledge and honor your feelings. Allow yourself to feel the disappointment, hurt, or frustration that comes with rejection.


Suppressing or ignoring your emotions will only prolong the healing process.

Take time to sit with your feelings, journal about them, or confide in a trusted friend or mentor.


Remember, it's okay to feel vulnerable and raw – it's a natural part of the human experience*


Step 2: Watch for THIS


You may be tempted to blame them for those feelings you are having.

And then blame yourself.


It sounds like, "There is something wrong with them"...."There is something wrong with me"..."There is something wrong with them".... and on and on it goes. Sometimes for YEARS.


Instead of viewing rejection as a personal failure or inadequacy on either part, you can reframe it as an opportunity for growth and learning.


Shift your perspective from one of shame, blame, and defeat to one of curiosity, resilience, or acceptance.


Ask yourself: What am I making this mean?

Usually we are making their words or actions mean something about us, about them, and about our relationship.

Is the way I am thinking about this helping me or hurting me?


Remember: Since no one can MAKE YOU FEEL something...the hurt from rejection is coming from what your mind is telling you.


You can change that.


Step 3: Practice Self-Compassion


When you are feeling rejected by another human....this is no time to be rejecting yourself.


You need a true friend right now.


Treat yourself with the same grace and understanding you would offer a dear friend facing a similar situation.

Remind yourself of your inherent worth and value, regardless of external validation or approval.


Remember, you are deserving of love and acceptance just as you are...

But you can always change.


Change because you want to be different....never because someone else wants you to be different.

This is easier to do when you know you are already enough.


Step 4: Seek Empowering Support


Sometimes we need another brain on the job.

Right now what you are going to do about it has become more important than what they did

Because it is something YOU can change.


The past is done.


  • Do you need to be more clear about how you ask for things?

  • Are you struggling to share your feelings with this person?

  • Are you taking their actions personally?


Navigating rejection alone can feel overwhelming and isolating.

Lean on your people or a coach who will try to uplift and empower you, reminding you of your strengths and resilience, rather than corroborating any stories that weaken you with victimhood.


Step 5: Keep Moving Forward


Above all, remember that when someone turns down an offer or a bid for connection you have some opportunities:


You have an opportunity to learn about

  • Your methods of communication

  • Your ability to have your own back

  • Your expectations on others

  • How to take excellent care of yourself

  • How to set better boundaries

  • What you want to tolerate

  • Where to go for certain requests and where not to


Focus on the things within your control – your attitude, your actions, and your mindset and remember....


Rejection is in NO WAY a reflection of your worth or potential.


You can learn to handle rejection with strength and resilience in ways that you can use to create greater connection with you

AND

With the person you really wanted to connect with in the first place

Cool

Calm

Champ-like



If you need another brain on the job that can

*help you see how your thinking is helping or harming,

*give you something you can do RIGHT AWAY to take action,


Just click the button below to schedule a relationship reset call.

Non-judgemental support and empowerment...right here.








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