Addicted to Busyness
You feel like you are wasting time if you just sit, think, watch the kids play.
You reliably fill your schedule, but still don't have enough time for sleeping or even just being present with the people you love.
Believe if you stop doing all of your lists, everything will fall apart.
You feel behind most of the time.
This isn't actually an overscheduling problem
As much as it is an "under feeling" problem
And an "under-managed" mind problem
Learn to be still
If you feel restless or anxious when you try to relax you may not have learned the skill of stillness
Running around in a state of busyness keeps you from having to feel some uncomfortable things.
You may realize that you feel anxious, disappointed, inadequate, alone, bored and it can feel scary.
You may feel lazy or guilty or judged if you aren't busy
When you are no longer doing tasks to run from something, the feeling of desperation and hustle diminishes.
Calm enters in the moments of doing AND just being
Practice Choice
When the mind is telling you, "You have to get this done" it creates stress, the feeling of busyness.
It's lying.
If you got a call that one of your children were being rushed to the hospital...would you tell them you couldn't come?
The house was too dirty? You were making dinner for the neighbors?
No.
Because it doesn't actually have to be done.
None of it does.
But the things you do will always be things you are choosing.
Don't give your power to change away to anything outside of you like a to-do list, work, a spouse.
If you are uncomfortable choosing the things you are doing instead of those other things you want...
Change.
Constraint
Be merciless with what makes your list.
Create a list of your priorities and FOCUS your time and attention to accomplishing those
On my list of priorities, my relationship with God comes first, my own wellness comes second, my family comes third.
I put wellness before my family because I know that when I am sick, exhausted, depleted I can't give how I want to.
To create a mind that you can sit with in the hammock and watch the kids play
Be even more productive when you are working on that to-do list
And more present with your loved ones when you aren't
Peace and stillness are available
But the price is being willing to learn to sit through the discomfort of an urge to jump up and get busy or else...(fill in the blank)
The discomfort of allowing some tasks to go undone or imperfectly
The discomfort of delegating
The discomfort of the judgement or frustration of others and
The guilt of saying no to things you wish you could...but won't
How to build these skills DIY-style
Add time to relax, play, enjoy, sleep to your schedule FIRST. 24 hours in advance.
Go by your plan no matter how your brain tries to talk you out of it. Brain: "My husband is going to think I am lazy". Response: "Maybe. That's not mine to manage though. I've decided that this is important."
Allow all the feels to be there. You may feel restless, bored, scared. They won't hurt you. Stay in that hammock. Watch your kids while you're feeling uncomfortable.
Repeat again tomorrow.
How to build these skills with a coach
Sign up for a discovery call. Let's talk about what you wish your experience with time and loved ones looks like figure out why it isn't like that now, and set a goal
Coach with me for 45 minutes each week, learning things like: *Who do you want to be if you aren't busy all of the time *What is keeping you from that now? *How you can change that. *What to do with feelings of guilt, restlessness, and many more foundational skills for decreasing busyness and increasing productivity and calm
Celebrate how far you came in 12 short weeks
Just being able to see that you have a busyness habit to kick is a big deal. I'm so glad you are open to seeing it. Don't judge. Be kind. Be curious and keep working to have those peaceful, calm moments now.
Don't wait for the kids to grow or retirement to come.
If you don't have the skills now...you won't have them when those things happen.
I can help you get there.
Just click below.
Love,
Me
One of my clients felt way too busy, unable to relax, and stressed with the things that she really wanted to enjoy like watching her grandkids, fulfilling her church callings, and helping her children. When she learned how to watch and manage her mind, stop judging herself for resting, she became more productive and more joyful as she did the things she really wanted to do. Coaching works.