Imagine that there are high octane thoughts and low octane thoughts driving our actions.
Low octane thoughts are the variety that often cause "premature combustion", "knocking and pinging" as we go back and forth between shame and blame, "engine noise" of mind drama and guilt and frustration. Using low octane in our cars can actually void the warranty because it increases the chances of damage and long-term harm.
High octane thoughts are the ones that help our mind run smoothly. They create very little "engine noise" or mind drama. They keep us emotionally healthy for the long-term and help us maintain relationships.
When we have someone in our lives that is trying to get their needs met through us, by trying to change our thoughts, feelings, actions for their benefit, we may decide it is time for some action.
The action we take will be fueled by our thoughts.
Action that we take from a place of blame (like, "You are such a manipulator! I need to protect myself from you") will be from a place of less power. We often begin slipping into controlling energy or avoiding energy and neither of those helps us.
Low octane thoughts are easier to come by. That's why so many people use them.
But high octane thoughts keep us running smoothly for the long run.
They are worth the investment.
Here are some of mine that help me show up with compassion so I can take action from that place.
Because I take action that I feel really good about from there.