Updated: Oct 7, 2022
"What can I do?" is what clients ask me about getting the silent treatment.
But often what she is focused on what she CAN'T do.
When this is happening in relationships
She will focus on what he is doing
She will talk about the ways they can't work things out if he won't talk
And the connection they can't have if he does that
AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT
It just stalls. Her. Out.
There is nothing more she can do.
But her mind is spinning about how to make him talk or make him stop being mad.
Because the fact is...
Adults get to do whatever they want to
And fighting against that reality, trying to find a backdoor to "making him" talk
Is a waste of precious energy that she needs
So here are three things you CAN do if you are on the receiving end of the silent treatment:
1. Change how you see the silence.
Are you making it mean something bad about him or about you?
2. Set good boundaries.
Boundaries are what you do to protect yourself.
The fact is, silence does not hurt us. But our brain often goes to that place of blame/shame that feels terrible. If your brain is hurting you about his silence...how can you take care of you today? Do that.
3. Focus on things you control
Not him. Who do you want to be in your relationship when he is being silent
? Be the person you love.
If you want more tips on how to put this into practice in your life
FOR MORE PEACE AND FREEDOM when the silent treatment is in effect
Click below to talk about how you can be connected and feel love even when he is not speaking without feeling like a doormat.