What do you do when someone is struggling, floundering, and doesn't want help?
When we believe that their pain is the reason for our pain we will naturally have this tendency to GET OUT OF PAIN.
We often do this by:
1. Leaving so we don't have to watch it happen
2. Staying and trying to change them. Get them out of pain so we can be out of pain
3. Stay and shut down. Stop caring or feeling so much
Sometimes we even go back and forth between feeling okay and then frustrated when they just seem to stay where they are at.
There is another option but it requires mind work on our side BECAUSE....
Our thoughts are the reasons for our pain. Not their pain.
So we don't have to get them to stop hurting to feel okay.
We need to look at what thoughts are generating the pain, decide if we want to keep those thoughts and the pain, and if we don't we get to bring ourselves to a more empowered, calm, settled place.
So we can make decisions about staying or going that we feel good about
So we can be at the ready, rather than in fear, if and when they choose to take us up on offers to help
So we can keep moving forward and taking action in our own lives
I give a couple of action steps here to find the thoughts, create new ones, and replace some old ones that may be keeping us struggling while someone else is struggling.
Being sad is different than struggling and
Is there really a need for both of us to struggle in the water of life afraid and frustrated?
Or can we do more good out of the water and in the boat...the safe, calm, collected place?