When Positive Thinking is Not Enough
A friend and I recently found ourselves in a sketchy neighborhood preparing to get out of the car into a very, dark area of ghetto Phoenix for our food.
We had already had one incident where an angry man banged on my window, swearing and yelling at me, waiting for me to come out.
...I pretended not to see him....
So we were a little hesitant but very hungry.
My friend says, "I'm scared but I'll think positive thoughts."
I said, "You do that. I'll grab my kubaton (a weapon)."
There are times in life that it is important we move forward.
When we become uncomfortable enough in our marriage that the way things are is just simply not okay anymore...
This is a valuable moment.
A decision to move forward to
Set a boundary
Have a hard discussion
Draw a line in the sand
Often comes from that sacred place of discomfort.
If you are there, congratulations. This is the place that change happens.
But moving forward requires letting go of things that are holding you back.
And the thoughts that you are currently thinking about him, you, and your situation.
It doesn't help to ignore them because
These thoughts have a HUGE impact on how you move forward
And whether you are moving forward from confidence and love or resentment and frustration.
Sometimes just letting go of ONE old thought makes all of the difference.
"We are not a team"
"We don't get along"
"He is selfish"
"He doesn't care"
"I can't handle this"
"I hate it when he does that"
Are examples of THOUGHTS even though we feel like we are just observing the facts on the news
They are marriage killers
And they are optional.
If you find that you are on the cusp of change
I encourage you to think positively
The negative thoughts that are serving to keep you in anger, judgement, superiority, bitterness, hopelessness, and blame
Like you are Jason on Bourne Ultimatum.
THEY are your enemy.
I'm your black belt on the inside. I can help you fight the fight that gets you closer to your spouse, not against him. You just need to see where the actual threat lies.
It isn't easy...but I've got you.