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  • Writer's pictureJenn

Using Scripture to Improve Relationships

A lot of times we misuse scriptures

That we are wrong and not enough

That we should be different than we are

Or someone else is doing it wrong.

{Is it any wonder we sometimes find it hard to read the scriptures?}

If we are using them the way I described above they will feel like one, big guilt-trip and judgement.

Let's not.

What if we decide that this is a book by humans

Written for humans

Talking about being human and using the lessons that other humans have learned to give us a leg up when we are in the same situation?

A personal example:

Recently I felt like I had been lashed out at by someone I love.

I spent the next little while with the apostle Paul in the Book of Acts.

Paul, through no mistakes of his own

Was imprisoned, beaten, shipwrecked.

And if that wasn't enough...he was bitten by a poisonous snake.

Have you ever felt this way?

You are just trying to do your best

You are trying to do the right thing even when it is hard

And out of the blue someone attacks.

You didn't deserve it.

You were not trying to upset anyone

But you still got bitten.

But a miracle happened.

Paul was bitten, that was for sure,

The people watching even supposed that he probably deserved it,

But he was not poisoned by that bite.

Historically, through scriptures, miracles have two parts.

His part and our part.

When someone lashes out at us we have the opportunity for a miracle.

Or we have the opportunity to be poisoned.

  • Being poisoned could look like a deep anger that courses through our veins whenever we see that person

  • Living with judgement or hate that infiltrates our moments of joy and blocks our gratitude

  • A desire to block, delete, ghost them from fear

  • Not wanting to think about them...but finding our minds obsessed with reliving conversations that happened

  • And conversations that never happened OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

The miracle of letting go and

  • Feeling free from judgement, hate, and bitterness

  • Finding ourselves connected AND protected using excellent boundaries

  • Being able to look at that person, be around that person, LOVE that person

Is offered through direction of the scriptures:

D&C 121:45

"...let virtue (high, moral standard) garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong..."

Our Part is to watch and manage what we are choosing to think about the people in the world who say words

So that we have the ability to walk away unharmed

Confident in who we are and who we will become because of this experience.

When we are angry we are usually thinking things like

  • They shouldn't have done that.

  • I don't deserve that.

  • They should be different.

The work comes in when we intentionally choose to think something else instead

  • I actually don't know how they should be acting.

  • There that person goes, being a human.

  • I don't agree with their assessment of me, but I don't have to control that.

  • Their feelings are not mine to manage.

And pray for help believing those things or asking for other thoughts that you can think on purpose that bring you confidence to love and accept another person for who they are and take good care of you.

Paul was able to go about doing much good after this incident.

He was an example of what it looks like to be bitten and walk away unharmed.

You have a lot of good to be doing.

It is not for you to hide or avoid

The world needs you.

It's time to walk away


Because you refuse to think thoughts that hurt you over what someone else said

And you believe in miracles

My best,


Do you want help combining the gospel, skills, and strategy into improving your relationships? Click the button below to talk to me about what your relationship looks like now, what you would like it to look like, and I will help you see exactly what is missing.

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