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  • Writer's pictureJenn

Unconditional Love Feels Terrible Until It Doesn't


Is there someone who is driving you crazy

That you just can't imagine loving right now?


You are officially in the first stage of loving unconditionally.


Loving without condition is a skill.

When you develop it,

It means you can love and accept someone for who they are

EVEN if you choose to not be around them.


When you think about them you can feel love.

When you run into them you can feel love.

Love trumps neutrality or indifference because it FEELS SO MUCH BETTER...

FOR YOU.


You are free of judgement, resentment, blame, anger, frustration

And it has nothing to do with them.

They don't even get to benefit from your love unless they choose to do the work to feel loved inside of themselves.

That's on them.


A lot of times my clients take the judgement, resentment, blame, anger, and frustration

And heap another layer on.

They start judging themselves, resenting their weaknesses, blaming their past, creating more anger and frustration about themselves

BECAUSE they are not loving them

And are therefore weak and inadequate.


Stop.


Do this instead.


Imagine walking in a gym for a good, hard workout.

You are surrounded by weights that you will one day be able to lift.

You've got some lighter kettlebells

Some medium dumbells

And some serious barbells

And when you pick them up...they should feel heavy.

And if you really want some bulk, you lift to failure.

Not because you are weak, but because you are willing to push past what is easy.

It is supposed to feel terrible while you are developing your strength

And your skill at lifting.

When you expand your capacity...it feels terrible.


Straining and struggling in a relationship means you are in the gym.

If it were easy it would not push you into a new level of skill.


Being able to love unconditionally is not something that you are born with

It happens on purpose

By exercising your mind

Intentionally

With work around people who challenge your current way of thinking about them.

You can pray for help...which is a big, ol' part...

But you need to do the heavy lifting.


You need these people to grow.

They are not in your way to unconditional love

They are the way to unconditional love.


So feel the burn

While you take the next step to use it to grow your skills to the next level

Next stop: unconditional love.



Do you need help understanding how to love someone unconditionally and still have expectations?

I've got you.

All you need to do is make an appointment for a free discovery call by clicking the button below

And we will talk for an hour about your situation.

I will ask you questions about what is going on.

I will listen for the underlying problem.

I will tell you what the problem is and how to solve for it.

No pressure. No judgement. No shame.

Just you and me figuring stuff out that can change your life forever.





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