She couldn't get in the door because
her husband had left his tools there.
I related to this story that a friend told me.
It impacted me greatly.
As we talked we realized that the tools blocking the door were not the problem
(Although definitely inconvenient)
It was the thoughts and emotions she was thinking and feeling about a pile of tools
That blocked peace in her mind and connection with her husband.
With the man she married
The man she wants to love no matter what.
Personally, I don't love that my husband buys paper plates
Or leaves energy drink cans around
Some of the sentences that come out of his mouth in my direction while he is working on a project
But I realized again, after this story,
That sometimes I am giving the ability to feel peace with my husband to things like
And some syllables
The last time we went shopping I watched him walking down isle 11, grabbing yet another pack of paper plates that will add to the heap of a landfill
And I thought about how much I would miss this view if he were gone from my life
And I was grateful.
Not because he changed
But because I decided that paper plates would not get in my way today.
I want what is on the other side too badly.
And the power to make that decision for myself.
If you are finding yourself giving your power to feel peace and love to anything else
It doesn't matter how big or how small
The issue is not making him "clean his act up"
The issue is cleaning up the clutter in your own mind that is blocking your way to peace and love
Because it is good for you.
Because it feels good to have a clean mind.
You feel lighter and more in control.
Because your decisions about what to delete and what to keep are better when they come from a settled, calm, peaceful place.
Your own, clean mind.
This is something you can learn to do.
Click below if you would like my help doing it.
"My biggest "light bulb" moment was realizing that I had to power, regardless of my husband changing or not, to dramatically improve the quality of my marriage. Day by day I woke up loving my husband just a little more. The neat part about that change was that my husband started reacting differently because he felt more loved. The downstream consequences of working on myself was that those closest to me in my life also benefitted immensely, which truthfully wasn't necessarily my goal. When I started really loving myself--with all my flaws and imperfections--it somehow allowed me to love my husband more deeply--with all his flaws and imperfections."
This is possible for you too.