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The #1 Lie about Assertiveness and How to Avoid it

Truth is a gift that you give people you love.

In a world that is bouncing back from:

"Women should be gentle and peaceful"

To "Women don't need men"

It's easy to fall prey to the number one scam about assertiveness:

The belief that being assertive is unkind.

Let's unravel the truth behind this scam and learn how to navigate relationships with grace, authenticity, and assertiveness.

The Scam: Assertiveness Equals Unkindness

From a young age, many of us are taught to prioritize harmony and avoid conflict at all costs.

We're told that speaking up for ourselves or setting boundaries is selfish or unkind.

But the truth is, suppressing our needs and feelings only leads to resentment, frustration, and ultimately, fractured relationships.

Assertiveness is NOT about bulldozing over others or disregarding their feelings.

It's about communicating our needs, boundaries, and desires in a clear and respectful manner.

It's about honoring our own worth and advocating for ourselves with confidence and grace.

The Truth: Assertiveness is a Gift of Love

Contrary to the scam, assertiveness is not unkind – it's a gift of love.

When we assert ourselves authentically and respectfully, we create healthier and more fulfilling relationships built on honesty, trust, and mutual respect.

By expressing our needs and boundaries, we invite others to truly see and understand us.

We give them the opportunity to show up for us in meaningful ways, strengthening the bonds of trust and intimacy.

But perhaps most importantly, assertiveness is a gift to ourselves.

It's an affirmation of our worth and a declaration of self-respect.

It empowers us to live authentically and unapologetically, honoring our truth and our values.

How to Embrace Assertiveness with Grace

  1. Know Your Worth: Recognize that your needs and feelings are valid and deserving of respect. Stand firm in your worth and value, and don't apologize for advocating for yourself.

  2. Communicate Clearly: Practice open and honest communication, expressing your thoughts and feelings with clarity and compassion. Use "I" statements to express your needs and boundaries without blaming or accusing others.

  3. Set Boundaries: Establish healthy boundaries that honor your needs and protect your well-being. Be firm in enforcing these boundaries, and don't be afraid to say no when necessary.

  4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you navigate assertiveness. It's okay to feel uncomfortable or vulnerable at times – it's all part of the process of growth and self-discovery.

  5. Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who support and encourage your journey towards assertiveness. Lean on trusted friends, family members, or a therapist for guidance and encouragement.

Don't fall for the scam that assertiveness is unkind.

Embrace assertiveness as a gift of love – to yourself and to those around you.

Speak your truth with courage and compassion, knowing that your authenticity is a beacon of light in a world hungry for honesty and connection.

With love and empowerment,


Do you call yourself a people-pleaser?

Do you often put yourself in the "one-down" position of defaulting to someone else?

Do you put yourself in the "one-up" position of believing you are more capable of handling the hard emotions so you swallow them so they don't feel uncomfortable?

The best relationships are side-by-side. Equals.

If you want some help re-establishing true equality in your relationship, click below for a relationship reset call.

We will make a roadmap that has:

  • What to leave behind (keep your spouse)

  • What to start doing

  • How to keep doing it for the next 50 least.

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