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  • Writer's pictureJenn

Needing to Be Right

If you don't need to be right...would it be a problem if they are?

Do you find yourself caught in endless loops of defending your stance and insisting you're right in your marriage?

You're not alone.

Who doesn't love to be right?

(I'm just pretty sure that I have great ideas and often the best ways of doing things.)

The drive to be seen as correct and smart is a habit many of us struggle with.

At first, it seems harmless - even virtuous.

  • We're just trying to save them time, effort and the pain of error.

  • Or we're sharing knowledge about the task at hand...You're welcome.

But the truth is that the "need to be right" is really a thought pattern driven our own insecurities.

Being "wrong" can low-level shake our sense of control or self-worth, sparking a primal urge to defend our egos and maintain a position of status at all costs.

On the surface it often looks like it's all for the love of all that is good and truthful.

But doesn't produce what we're hoping.

And what's the result?

There is usually no trophy or medal.

A battle has been won, but a war lost.

Would the extra time it takes to do the task over, if done wrong,

Be worth the sustained connection?

Because the disconnection being right (and them being wrong) breeds is the opposite of the caring companionship we all crave.

Here's the good news: We're usually both wrong and both right


We are usually arguing about our perspectives.

Those will depend on our past experience.

We literally can't have their perspective without their experience.

But we can have understanding for why someone feels the way we do.

Asking, "Tell me why you believe that is the best way?" could go a lot differently than

"That way is wrong" in some flavor.

The deep work?

When you already believe your view is valid

  • Trust in your ability to make good decisions

  • Stop believing that everyone has to agree for things to be okay

You stop fighting so hard to be right.

It doesn't feel as necessary.

The new question becomes:

How can we empower each other and create space for both voices?

Feel like you have an extra tough situation? I've got you.

I promise that the solution is simpler than you may think.

If you want to see how easy it could be,

Schedule a Relationship Reset call with me by clicking the button below.

Together we can

  • Identify the actual problem (it's probably not what you think)

  • Identify the actual solution (you control it 100%)

  • And make a plan to make it happen...even if you don't coach with me.

Click below.

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