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  • Writer's pictureJenn

Micro-quitting




Have you ever started out DETERMINED to make a change in your relationship

Take those bold, new steps

And one day realize you are right back where you started?

Although this can feel like falling off a cliff and back into a ravine

There is usually a very, quiet, steady process that lands you back there called

Micro-quitting.

Micro-quitting involves those little, day-to-day things that seem insignificant.


If we were talking about a diet it is the lick to the spoon

The sip from the husband's soda can

Nibbling on the kids' leftovers

That is not the monumental pizza or ice-cream cone binge


It is the whisper from that part of the brain that feels uncomfortable

Being someone you've never been before

That just wants to relax and stop working so hard

That "This little thing won't matter"

Watching TV instead of going on the planned date night

Going to bed knowing you skipped the accountability meeting

Feeling "too tired" instead of the evening of intimacy

In themselves these are not deal breakers

No one is yelling or cheating

But quietly, slowly leads back into familiar, comfortable, status quo waters.


Have you been there??


When you start considering taking no licks, no sips, and no nibbles the brain will begin to show it's cards

"I don't want to have to be so rigid"

"That won't be any fun"

"That feels too strict"

"That is too much work"

Which is exactly what you want it to do.

You want to see those thoughts

That create the feelings (probably of relief)


That cause you to slowly, slowly quit on yourself

And on your dream relationship.


And so here is the process to stick to a diet AND/OR improve your relationship

To stop micro-quitting and start micro-committing:

  1. Plan ahead

  2. Stick to the plan

  3. Feel terrible

  4. Repeat

The most important step on there is to feel terrible.

Usually when you feel terrible that primal brain will begin to believe that something has gone wrong.

It will try to get away from the terrible to save you

But the saving comes in knowing that discomfort is the price of your dreams

You can handle discomfort

You are not in any danger from discomfort


So when you decide that you are going to stay connected when you want to hide

You are going to speak up when you want to people-please

You will have the conversation when you just want to skip it

You will speak kindly and gently when you want to shout

You will stay emotionally present when you want to zone out


You will now be micro-committing

(Because you are awesome like that)


And slowly but surely becoming a new version of yourself

And one day you can realize that something that used to make you irate...just doesn't

Something you used to avoid is no big deal


I am committed to you.

I am committed to helping others have deep, amazing relationships with others and with themselves.

I am committed to me so that I know better how to teach you.

If you want my help, we can be committed together.

You make such a difference in the lives around you

But you alone are worth that effort.


Click below to schedule some backup.

I've got you.




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