is not the easy solution.
When we ghost someone so that we don't have to tell them something that may hurt their feelings and so we don't have to lie or pretend that we are okay with things as they are....we are trying to be good, kind people.
But ghosting is rarely good or kind.
Often people notice that the communication is down and begin to make up stories about themselves that are even worse that the truth.
Things are left in the air and unknown for the other party.
And we are often left holding feelings that hurt us like resentment, anger, irritation, awkwardness, and judgement.
The tough thing to do is to let go of controlling how they feel about the truth
A hard thing to do for "control enthusiasts" (like me sometimes)
And tell the truth.
We get to learn how to be good at communicating our feelings.
We get to learn to do it "wrong".
We get to learn more about ourselves: What do I really want in my life? What do I like? What do I not want to like?
We get to learn to have our own backs and support us. This builds trust with ourselves. SO IMPORTANT!
We get to learn how to manage our mind and our emotions.
We get to learn how to allow someone else to not be okay with what we say.
In my experience all of those things can be hard to develop
But THE WAY to develop the skill of honesty, truth, love, and communication is to do it.
In this video I'm talking about the difference between hurt and harm.
I'll give you a formula to communicate feelings while owning them.
And a little bit of "you've got this" from me to you if you've decided to do the harder thing and have the conversation.
If you recognize that this is something you have struggled with and would like some help to be true to you AND kind, feel free to reach out and message me.
It's what I do.