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  • Writer's pictureJenn

Get Out of the Rut

Updated: May 22, 2023

You don't even bother having the conversation with him anymore

Because you know exactly what he is going to say

You've heard it a hundred times

And you know what you are going to say back

You know how it will end and have decided it isn't worth the pain

And so you suck it up

Push down the resentment

Offer little hints and digs that you are not happy with how things are going

He becomes more frustrated

And on it goes.

A rut is a habit or pattern that is unproductive and dull and is very hard to get out of

It is well-worn and maintained by neuropathways with years of reinforcement

It feels hard because changing means you risk what you already have

It means giving up who you have been for who you want to be

The brain will resist. It will want to stay where it is easiest. In the rut.

But new results come from new decisions.

Here are some of the powerful decisions my clients intentionally make while coaching with me that I believe make the biggest, quickest changes

  • My relationship is worth overcoming my fears for

  • I choose to believe that I am worthy and capable of a better relationship

  • I feel what I need to feel: vulnerable, sad, grief, anger, frustration and I will stop judging myself for it

  • I will change how I think about myself and my partner into ways that help me, not hurt me

  • I no longer give anyone else responsibility for what I control

  • I set strong, loving boundaries to protect my relationship from resentment

We use a workbook to guide you

We use weekly visits to teach you

We use texts and email to troubleshoot issues

We use your daily interactions as practice

We use every resource available to support you

And once these powerful decisions are made


You will no longer be the same person

So think about these questions this week:

  • Who do you want to be in this relationship?

Commit to being that person.

  • What is she thinking?

  • What is she doing?

  • How would you feel if you believed your relationship could change by changing yourself?

Commit to feeling that feeling.

Turn your decisions into your dreams

By making a powerful one today.

If you want help working through the resistance your mind will throw at you

The fears you will come up against

The confusion your mind will try to stay in

Click below to schedule a call to see how I can help.

This is what I do in a kind, loving, but very direct way.

This client says:

"Coaching with Jenn is so much fun, but hard at the same time. Jenn will call you out if you don't call yourself out and I really appreciated/needed that. I liked having action items each week to put myself to work and face my thoughts. Jenn helped me sort through things and be realistic with myself, which has helped me continue to do that on my own."

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