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  • Writer's pictureJenn

Don't Want to be Around Her?

You aren't a terrible person for not liking her.

And beating yourself up for not wanting to be around her is adding to your lack

of peace (that is available RIGHT NOW...before she changes)

Why it matters:

Trying to change them to feel better just doesn't work. When you wear yourself

down with self-berating or shame it depletes the one person who can actually

bring you deep-down, genuine peace. YOU.

  • I will share exactly what to do to start feeling peace regarding that person in this email.

The Big Picture:

The brain is wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy

  • When you have done the work to matter enough to you to stop people-pleasing but then feel guilty or bad for not helping out in some ways...that creates pain.

  • When you try to not care so much but believe you are a bad person if you don't care...that creates pain.

  • When you try to be around them to keep the peace but then have a war inside when they criticize you again...that creates pain.

Of course you don't want to be around them.

You are a good person putting yourself in an impossible situation.

How to win:

  • Know where your true power lies. How others choose to feel is theirs and theirs alone. The good news? Your actions, your thoughts, and your feelings are yours. They literally can't make you feel anything so don't waste your precious energy...distracted...believing they are.

  • You can change how you see their behavior. Examples: "She is a controlling manipulator" to "She is a scared human". "She hates me" to "I'm not for everyone...and that's okay". "I can't stand her" to "I prefer different behavior and that's okay". (Good new: This does not mean you have to give permission or condone behavior you don't want to tolerate in your life)

  • Use boundaries to protect yourself from unacceptable behavior. These are set for you to protect you. You don't have to require the other person to change. "You do you, Boo. This is how I'll take care of myself when you do." You don't even have to be mad about it!

  • Refuse to fight with yourself. When you start setting boundaries, people who have been benefiting from your lack of boundaries will try to change you to feel better...because that's what we humans do when we forget that we control our own feelings. Have. Your. Back. This is no time to start attacking from the inside.

The bottom line:

Peace is possible NOW, before they change, and it is 100% in your control.

If you find those steps daunting or you want more information on HOW just click below to get one-on-one help with your situation.

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