Are You a Priority Too?
Do you have too many responsibilities to have fun?
Or sleep
Take the vacation
Meal prep
Exercise
If you are like many of my hard-working, reliable, responsible clients
It is easy to get caught up in the undercurrent of feeling sorry for yourself for not having the time, resources, or ability to make yourself a priority.
You will always figure out a way to take care of others in your life
But you rarely make that list.
Trying to improve a relationship
Communicate better
Make the effort to date weekly
from overwhelm, depletion, and sometimes
I'll say it...
Resentment
Makes it worse
It is communicated in your non-verbal language and vibration
And sometimes you may unintentionally sabotage your own efforts just to get some relief.
Spouses want to be chosen.
They want to know that they matter
More than laundry or soccer games
But it is extremely hard to choose anyone above survival levels
If you aren't choosing YOU.
Imagine this:
A friend waiting for you at a restaurant.
You said you would meet her at noon.
She waits,
Wondering if she should eat...she's hungry...
Wondering if you are okay...
Until finally she gives up.
You reschedule...and it happens again.
After having this happen so many times she will stop believing you will ever show up
And you stop telling her you want to get together.
You are this girl.
You need to choose yourself.
You need to make the list of priorities.
You need to communicate to yourself that you matter too
And you need to develop the trust in yourself that you will give yourself what you need in order to show up how you want to in the world.
Fun and joy help you toward those hard-to-reach emotions that help you interact with the hubs in a kinder way
Listen with the intent of understanding
Set loving boundaries
Let go of trying to control and manage his emotional experience
And manage your emotional experience
Bridge emotions, like bridge thoughts,
Help you get closer to the emotional space you really want to be eventually
Like compassion, love, acceptance, non-judgement, confidence, excitement.
You may not be there yet...but trying to get there from depletion will make it so much harder.
Trying to get there from enjoyment and fun and playful is a much, much smaller, doable step.
There will be a part of your brain that will tell you that you can't have fun
You have too much to do