When Someone You Love Wants Help

Have you ever had someone that you care about struggle?

Have you ever offered solutions to them and it was not well-received? Maybe met with...."I don't need a solution, I just need you to listen?"

Oh, if I had a dime for every time I've jumped in to "save" a struggling person, believing that they needed to be saved and it was my job to save them, I could tile a pool with them.

It is something I have done a lot of work on.

This week I am sharing how to present options/solutions based on some of the things I have learned about myself.

Here were some hard facts: A lot of times I wanted them to stop struggling so I didn't' have to watch it and feel bad about it and feel guilty for not helping them and making them feel better and taking the pain away.

I would describe it as feeling like I was watching a train wreck and doing nothing. Like those paparazzi at Princess Diana's wreck.

This is actually me helping with a motive. The motive being, "Here, do this so I feel better and know that you're doing it the way I think it should be done".

But sometimes I know some stuff.

Stuff that legitimately could be tried on and possibly help.

When it is offered without a motive, I know that things are working out exactly as they should.

I know that this person is whole just how they are.

I know that their journey is theirs and mine is mine.

I know that struggle is okay.

My job is to love them.

I know how to feel okay, and sometimes sad with someone, and still okay, because I am actually the one creating my own distress...not them and their situation.

I don't have to hijack their journey to feel better.

Do you feel me?

I know it can be hard work to watch someone struggle.

I KNOW!

But there is another level of peace available and another level of offering help that is available when we are approaching it from a "clean" place.