What is the big deal about skipping yoga?
Nothing. Unless you told yourself you would do it.
I’ve been the girl who writes goals and then abandons them on the counter, only to be used as a coaster for the Luna an Larry’s Chocolate Walnut Brownie Coconut Bliss, bleeding the ink of my blood sugar management goal.
On another note, though, I am the one who will always show up for the group ride. If I said I was going to be there to take my turn pulling in the draft line (or at least cheering from the back of the draft line…), you can put money on me being there.
Have you ever found that you are more reliable for those around you than you are for yourself?
Why does it really even matter? No one even knows when I drop the ball on myself, right?
There are three reasons why we, as humans, don’t follow through and commit.
They have nothing to do with time, money, and getting permission from our spouses. They are lacking in the areas of
1. Belief in the result
2. Belief in the process
3. Belief in themselves.
That’s it. (If this is hard to grasp, give me a call and I will work through your decision-making process and show you how the reasons your mind tells you that you aren’t following through are smoke screens and actually boil down to one or more of those three reasons.)
This becomes so important, because in the case of not believing in yourself, every time you don’t follow through, you are losing trust with the only person who can get you through.
You need that girl to trust you!
So if you are one of those who tends to be there for others but not for yourself, what can you do?
I’ll share what has helped me in my life.
1. Create a simple AM/PM schedule. It may only be one little check box that says, “Check this box”, but be diligent and unfailing in your commitment to follow your schedule. Keep it simple!
2. Find and create evidence to support the thought that you are trustworthy to yourself. Your first piece of evidence is going to be that little piece of paper that you check every morning and every night. Keep track of the moments you had your own back during the day and look at that often.
3. Dig out the thoughts that are keeping you from believing that you are not able to follow through. It may be the voice that says, “You have no self-discipline”, “You can’t do that”, “You never follow though”. Recognize they are trying to keep you safe, hiding in a hole of not trying, but you’re going to do something new. Now rewrite these thoughts into something helpful that serves you like, “I show that I have self-discipline every time I get up to run before the kids wake up”, or “I can do plenty of things”, and “I totally show up for the things that are important. I am important.”
4. Be kind. Judgement is the thing that keeps us afraid of doing so many bold things that can help us and others. Be the safe place for your mind to come for safety and friendship. If you are the one beating on yourself to do better and do more because you aren’t enough until you do, think about how this is serving you.
5. Keep your power. The ability to change is inside you. Don’t be fooled by the tempting idea that the reason you feel this or that is anyone else’s responsibility (fault). This is yours. Waiting for the right moment, right circumstances, permission, weight, attitude, whatever it is…is a trick. This is designed to keep you stuck. Still. Safe from things that feel unsafe. Progression is risky. It’s going to set off the alarms. But you can be there for yourself and know that this is yours and you are totally capable of taking it on and being there for yourself when those painful learning experiences come that we are tempted to call mistakes.
Don’t fall for it, girls. This is your life. Your adventure. Your job.
You are the one who needs to believe in you above all others. No one else can make you feel ANYTHING, including capable, competent, determined,reliable, true.
Have your own back.
You are worth it.